So done and it is not even 9am

I woke up this morning to Derrick and Brandon crying.  The latter is not the case on a normal day.  I walk into his room and low and behold Brandon is covered in a bottle of baby bath soap I had left in Derrick's baby bath under his crib. (Obviously that was a mistake)  He wasn't hurt, he was only crying because he wanted to get it off and couldn't so he cried to alert me he needed assistance.  Seriously?  At least this time he showed a little bit of remorse  . . .when he told me he was giving me the serious look I give him when he is in trouble.  That at least is a step up from the norm of him looking at me and telling me did something he knows he shouldn't with a big innocent, no guilt present face.  So I am trying to feed Derrick while Brandon needs to get cleaned up.  I tell him to go and wash his hands off with only water in the bathroom sink.  He comes back out covered in more soap - which he helped himself to in the bathroom!!  GRRR!!  It is on his hair and hands and clothes.  I was just so done.  I wiped him off with a towel and stripped him down.  I probably need to throw him in the bath, for obvious reasons, but it feels like he would win that way - and I my  frustration with him would somehow manifest in splashing him in the face over and over again, so I am still holding off.  

I know the girls went through similar stages, but somehow when you are in the middle of it with any kid - it is as if that child is the only child who has done it and every other child could never have gone through something like this.  They never could have been so disobedient.  This of course is not the case, but oh man does it feel that way.  Brandon is at that stage and it is driving me bonkers.  He is into everything, he says no and is obstinate to almost everything.  I am in need of new tactics to try with him as he is oh so trying to assert his independence and I am trying to both encourage the good kind and discourage the bad.  

The joys of motherhood.  Brandon is not a bad kid by any stretch of the imagination - he is a really good little boy.  He is just in that stage and I have to just keep on top of him or his attempts to show me he is really the true boss will win out.  Since that obviously cannot happen . . . .the exhaustion will continue.  My efforts will show fruit eventually, but it always amazes me the will that such a small child can have.

I feel like I should write all the good things to balance this post out - but I think I will just save it for another post.  This post is for you Lauren!

Thankful Thoughts Before #4 Arrives

I love reading people's blogs that I care about - but I feel so silly sharing my own thoughts and feelings on my own. Silly I am sure, but it is the truth.

I have been re-reading the Work and the Glory - to give me something to do while Douger studies and the kids are sleeping or playing by themselves. I only started with the last three - because honestly i was only planning on reading parts of the 7th and then I got sucked into it and am almost finished with the 8th again. I forgot how powerful those books are. They are so well written and of course have wonderful characters. Most of all I love how well the author describes our Christian beliefs. Sometimes I feel very tongue tied when trying to answer people's questions - most of which are not nearly as deep as the ones in the books, but it just reinforces my testimony. I am thankful for people's talents that inspire me.

Like my sister in law's blog - she is always so open and has a way with words that always touches me.

Those women and men I know that are always willing to serve. They are such a great example to me - of what I need to better become. I strive to be like them.

Those authors who can just reach down into my soul - or those writers, actors, directors, cinematographers who can make me laugh or believe in fairy tales again.

I am thankful for my family. For my parents and my in laws who set such a great example of how to parent, teach and truly love and support their children. For each of my siblings who serve as examples to me in their own families - and have since I was a teenager. I am thankful for my sweet children who pray that they can follow Jesus's plan because they love him. (Their words) I am so grateful for the opportunity to be a mother to them and implement all that I have learned from my parents, siblings and others who have been inspirations to me. Hoping to even improve on what I have been given so that they can be the third stage rocket propelled by their amazing ancestry before them. I am thankful for a Loving God who loves each of us so individually that he will direct our paths and redirect them to where he wants us to go so we can learn and grow. How thankful I am for the sacrifice of His Son who makes healing and life possible. I am thankful for my sweet husband who is an amazing example to me in all that he does. He works so hard to be the best he can be for himself, for me, for our children, for his Heavenly Father. Many people say that medical school is horrible - a hell in fact - and that their marriage barely survives it - call themselves medical widows. I find the exact opposite. Is medical school and it's rigorous and exhausting time consuming nature challenging? Yes. But with a husband who always puts me and my children first, it is more than doable. We are both growing while we are here - and continue to grow closer together. I am so thankful for my sweet husband and the family we have.

All of these thoughts are tumbling around in my head today - as I am having a hard time breathing or doing more than just sitting down without feeling the need to pass out. How grateful I am for the blessings I have - for the newest blessing I will meet in three days. I am so grateful and hope I can do enough in return, to bless others lives as mine has been blessed, to be the person my Heavenly Father expects me to be.

This is definitely my most personal post so far - normally this would be a journal entry (and I will print it out so it can be) - but I felt like I should express it here. Thank you to all of you who have touched my life just by being who you are and living your life.

The date is set!

Baby #4 will be arriving on March9th! Having the date set makes it seem even closer, as silly as that sounds. I am so excited to meet this little guy and find out what his name is. Until I see the baby I never know for sure. So in two months and four days we will be meeting our little mystery man.

We had a wonderful time in California and Arizona during our winter break. It was super busy with a Disneyland trip, Christmas Eve, Christmas, sister's wedding and temple trip, baby blessing, and New Year's lol. Definitely packed in tight, but had a blast! So much so that my body got a cold on the plane ride home and is recouping now.